Trust Issues
by Wario the TableMan
Summary: A new recruit leads Bandana Waddle Dee to take drastic action


_SLAM!_

The door swung open with tremendous force. "I have arrived!" announced the stubby little jester wheeled in on his trademark ball.

Kirby and his friends gasped and pulled out their missile launchers and plasma rays.

Marx snickered and put his ball back in its place through the dimensional portal of yonder hind. "Relax, good buddies. Marx is here to do many a friendly deed."

Bandana Dee, AKA Best Boy, squeezed the trigger and shot a hole through Marx's cap. Marx burst into tears and lay his partner to rest.

Meta Knight and Dedede felt pretty bad about the accident, so they made Marx a tombstone in honour of the legendary lid.

Bandana Dee did not apolgise. "Something's fishy and it ain't Kine's stinkin' batoot."

Kine wept bitterly as his self-esteem was irreparably damaged. He hopped into Kawasaki's pot and bid his teammates a tearful farewell. Nobody missed him except Kowalski in some other fanfic.

Kirby gritted his teeth and turned to Marx and his heinous Baldness. "You got a deathwish, abomination?"

Marx flexed his facial structure to form the biggest grin ever grinned. It was obvious he was not a liar anymore. Kirby accepted the penance and patted him on the head.

Eight weeks later…

"I still don't trust him, man…" said Bandana Dee.

Dedede shoveled twelve sandwiches down his gullet in a single go. "Don't look at me. I'm only in this until my clarinet career takes off."

Meta Knight nodded in agreement. "I feel like Marx may be up to no good," said the canonically hottest stud in the entire series.

Later that night, Dedede, Bandana Dee, and Meta Knight disguised themselves as pizza deliver guys and went to Kirby's house where Marx was staying.

Kirby opened the door to retrieve the cheesy pies. He paid by giving them a taste of his own cheesy pies.

Dedede licked his lips. "Dat tasted mad delish!"

" _Muy Bien…"_ said Meta Knight with a German accent.

Bandana Dee saw their target hobble into the other room. "Blimey… it's the freak…" He readied his spear. He threw it at Marx and it hit him.

However, the spear merely bounced off of the clowny creep's very essence. He eyed Bandana Dee and his crew with a sly smile. "Oh, is it naptime already, chums?"

Marx then unleashed his devilish aura and transformed into a living nightmare.

Kirby was shocked. "I can't believe the guy who ate my entire tube of toothpaste last night is actually a bad guy!"

Dedede belched. He then pulled his hammer out of his secret compartment. "It's time to clobbuh dis delinquent!"

" _Ja,_ " said Meta Knight with a Spanish accent.

Marx giggled with demonic glee and rained arrows of chaos upon Dedede and Meta Knight. They were already down by the time Bandana Dee picked up his spear.

Kirby ate his framed autographed photo of Will Smith and became Fresh Prince Kirby. Just then, Kirby mama came in and saw that Marx was up to no good. Thus, Kirby was forced to move in with his auntie and uncle in Bel-Air.

Bandana Dee was all alone with the most terrifying monster in the known galaxy, and all he had was his trusty spear and the lingering flavour of Kirby's cheesy pies.

"Well, Dee, better rev up those fryers, 'cause I am sure hungry for… MURDER!" Marx started screaming and wildly convulsing as his body morphed into even more horrific amalgamations of trepidation and entropy.

"This is gonna be a challenge…" said Bandana Dee. He reached under his cap and pulled out a magical staff.

"What is this?" Marx asked with an outrageous display of tumultuous evil energy.

"You're undoing, bub…" Dee then performed a dance and struck the heavens with his staff. Kracko got off his lazy butt and sent mystical lightning down to strike the young Dee and grant him a bulkier physique. Bandana Dee now officially had meatier biceps than anything ever spawned from a Bowflex.

Marx growled at Bandana Dee's new form and charged up his laser. "I'LL KILL YOU!" he boomed.

"Not so fast, cowboy…" said Bandana Dee. He flexed and got so much ultimate power rerouted from Dreamland and across the galaxy. The power injected itself into Bandana Dee's pulsating veins and made his muscles grow more savagely beefy.

Marx fired his laser and Bandana Dee slammed it hard with his steaming fist. He deflected the shot and it was redirected into the moon and shattered it to bits.

Bandana Dee then charged forward with his boisterous buns and thighs and leapt into the air. He struck Marx with a matter-obliterating karate chop. The torrential outpouring of hunky muscular insanity mixed with pure Dee energy was bodacious enough to consume the evils spilling out from Marx's soul and quell the madness being cast forth.

The impact sent Marx's very being spiraling into supernatural nausea and concluded with an explosion of otherworldly scales complemented by the screams of a thousand demons.

Bandana Dee landed with a thud, cradling his swordsman and monarch friends in his tight forelimbs. He set them down and popped on his shades as he took in the corrupt jester's horrific outburst, shielding the rest of Dreamland from the sinister shrapnel with his formidable abs.

When Kirby finally got back from Bel-Air, he thanked his friends for their service and gave them delicious cakes. "I promise, I'll never fall for another one of Marx's tricks," said Kirby remorsefully.

Bandana Dee patted his pink friend on the back and returned to looking good in the neighborhood.

 **THE END**


End file.
